Every Wall I Lean On
by forthecoast
Summary: Life is about choices. Jane/Lisbon in the aftermath of Blood Money.


**Title:** Every Wall I Lean On  
**Rating:** K+  
**Disclaimer:** Ask again later.  
**Spoilers:** 2x19 (Blood Money)  
**Summary:** Life is about choices.  
**Author's Note:** This was the other story I wrote for the JF SSS exchange; prompt used was "Lisbon smiles." Beta'd by Yana.

Title and lyrics from Vienna Teng's "Kansas" :)

xxxxx

it's not regret  
just an unexpected accounting of debts  
-Vienna Teng

xxxxx

For the third time this week, Teresa Lisbon finds herself back at the office after hours, and to make matters worse, it's only Wednesday.

Tonight, thankfully, it will only be a quick stop on her way back home. They closed a case earlier today, and she was too tired to cook dinner for herself after yoga. Only, when she went to pull her cell phone out of her purse, she realized that she left it sitting on her desk at work, so she reluctantly made her way back to CBI Headquarters.

It's been a busy week at the office, so she isn't surprised to find Jane still sitting on his couch, teacup in one hand and Sudoku puzzles in the other. She acknowledges him with a quick wave and nod of her head before unlocking her office and retrieving the forgotten phone from its resting place beside her keyboard.

Once she accomplishes her initial goal, however, she shuts her office door quietly behind her and crosses the bullpen. She pulls out Cho's desk chair and sits down, feeling the pleasant stretching of her muscles after her evening work out.

"Enjoying your own closed case tradition there, I see."

Jane puts down his book of Sudoku puzzles and smiles back at her brightly. "You're one to talk, Lisbon," he says. "Rigsby was offended that you skipped out on pizza. He says it was your turn to buy."

She tuts quietly, amused. "Rigsby always says that."

"Yes, he does," Jane agrees with ease. "And you did have somewhere you had to be. How was yoga tonight?"

Rolling her eyes, Lisbon hits him gently on the arm. As she is still wearing her gym clothes and her hair is pulled back in a ponytail, it doesn't take any exceptional powers of observation to guess where she had been this evening; still, something about Jane's self-assured smirk catches her off guard.

"You're good," she teases, recovering, while Jane still dramatically rubs the spot where she hit him. "You should really take that show on the road."

He dismisses her with a casual wave of his hand before taking another sip of his tea. "Ahhh, you _must_ have had a good work out. You're in a good mood even though you had to come back to the office." He pauses briefly, more for theatrical effect than for actual consideration. "Left your cell phone on your desk? Really, you should be more careful about those things. You never know who might be lurking around here after hours."

"I shouldn't have to worry," she retorts. "What with my knight in shining armor here to protect the sanctity of my office."

She stops short, remembering what he said to her just over a week ago when they were trapped in the crate on their way across the border. Jane seems to sense this, and his expression softens, his usual façade giving way to something unguarded and more genuine.

Although the last few months have been impossibly stressful, weighing on her like a ton of bricks, she reminds herself of how smoothly their last case ran. Jane has been on his best behavior since Hightower rescinded her suspension; a fact for which Lisbon is forever grateful, and she means to tell him as much.

"I appreciate what you did for me, by the way," she begins. Although she knows from the look he gives her that he understands exactly what she is referring to, she wants, needs, to complete her thought. More for her own peace of mind than anything else. "You managed to keep yourself in check during the Tuohy case, and it hasn't gone unnoticed. I haven't had to answer a single complaint all week."

Jane smirks at her last comment, and the corners of his eyes twitch mischievously. "Not as much fun, but we did close the case. Eventually."

She fixes him with a pointed stare but finds herself smiling nonetheless. "The cop stuff does work too, if you let it."

He opens his mouth as if to speak, but seems to think better of it. He pauses then, deep in thought, before his expression turns serious. "Do you really think that you're going to get fired because of me?"

"I have to consider the possibility," she admits, shrugging her shoulders as she reclines in her chair. She has thought long and hard about it, particularly since Hightower's arrival, but the idea no longer worries her. Jane is Jane, and in the end, she stands by her choice because she knows that if she were given the opportunity again, her decision would not change. Instead, she continues, amused, "Could be fun, though, to watch someone else try to control you. I'd like to see them try."

Jane winks, and she suppresses the urge to hit him again.

"I can assure you that no one else will be able to reign me in."

"Oh, you don't have to tell me twice."

His entire demeanor shifts quickly from buoyant and playful to quiet and serious. "Whether you consider the possibility or not, I want you to understand that getting you fired has never been my intention, and it never will be."

At this, Lisbon exhales and runs one hand behind her ear, idly tucking away a lock of hair that freed itself from her ponytail. "I know that it's not, Jane," she says with a tired sigh. "But that doesn't mean that it won't happen anyway. I signed on with you, and I've stuck it out this long. It may not have been the wisest choice for my career in the long run, but that's all in the past now, and I can't change it."

Despite the transient flash of hurt that she notices on Jane's face, her honesty leaves her feeling lighter somehow, almost relieved.

"Maybe it's not too late," Jane encourages softly. "Maybe you can still change it."

She shrugs and focuses her eyes on a crease in the brown leather of the arm rest, unwilling to meet his eyes. "Maybe I don't want to. Like I said, we catch a lot of bad guys, and most days, that's enough. All I'm asking is that you trust me enough to be up front with me. Going behind my back never actually helps, in case you haven't noticed."

"I promise to try," he replies with his usual cheerful tone. Lisbon would love to believe him; however, experience has taught her to be cautious and skeptical, especially where Jane is concerned. "Since you missed case closed pizza, what do you say we start our own tradition? My treat."

Although a part of her wants nothing more than to take him up on his offer, she recognizes that putting some boundaries, distance even, between them is probably the best course of action, at least for now. "I appreciate the offer, but I really ought to head home."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I am." Lisbon stretches and stands up, returning Cho's chair to its proper place. Over her shoulder, she quirks an eyebrow at him and retorts teasingly. "Despite you being on your best behavior, this case was exhausting, and I think I just need to get some sleep. I do need to make wise choices every once in a while." She trails off, still teasing, but after a moment of consideration, her expression softens and she adds, "Maybe some other time, okay?"

Jane nods in understanding, a rueful smile on his lips. "Of course, but if you change your mind tonight," he says, patting the leather beside him, "You know where to find me."

It's almost impossible to resist his offer with him looking at her with such sincerity in place of his usual mask, precise and deceptive. Still, she strengthens her resolve, ignoring the small knot that seems to tighten just under her ribs. "Life is all about choices, Jane. I don't have any regrets."

With that, Lisbon turns around and strides back toward the elevators, leaving Jane smiling in her wake long after she disappears out of sight.

xxxxx


End file.
